Transformers - Retaliação

A falta de sentido de equilíbrio e bom gosto de Michael Bay no mundo mágico e elegante dos primeiros Transformers?! Transformers enfrentam uma mudança semelhante a Os Bad Boys 2. O produtor Spielberg desapareceu, Bay libertou-se. O primeiro filme foi ótimo devido a vários aspetos agradáveis e bem misturados: a celebração visual da beleza de Megan Fox, a sua sensual aproximação ao tímido Shia, o conhecimento gradual dos robôs excelentes, dos quais cada um tinha o seu lugar no argumento, evocavam admiração e simpatia. O filme não se apressou em lado nenhum, diverti-me com cada cena, e a única coisa que o enfraqueceu um pouco foi a confusão na ação final. No segundo filme, Megan e Shia (em ações igualmente confusas) apenas evitavam explosões e o humor do cãozinho robô masturbando com a bota de Megan (!) entrava em ação. Os robôs são literalmente desperdiçados, o potencial do seu individualismo é enterrado, alguns são até irritantes (os «gémeos» que acompanham os protagonistas). E mesmo quando um robô finalmente provoca entusiasmo, é de repente eliminado de uma só vez pelos seus grandes testículos de aço, sob os quais John Turturro chama de walkie-talkie fuzileiros navais (!!). Esta não é simplesmente a direção que eu queria ver os Transformers tomar. Para não mencionar a desarmonia geral do argumento, em que o enredo é apenas um fio fino para uma orgia de ação constante que NÃO PODE satisfazer após duas horas... (19/06/2009)

100% concentrate of one artist. From another director, I would love it, but this Bay… and I can only take him dissolved. Everything bangs, everyone is gorgeous, everyone is American… and then the humour, the humour!!! Horny dogs, a stoned mum, moron robot twins… Two stars for the special effects, otherwise it’s rubbish. (15/08/2011)

Michael Bay has transformed himself into his own genre, where he has made his own rules that physics, logic, and even Spielberg himself cannot affect. On the other hand, no one else has such perfectly stitched visuals with slow-motion shots of the characters' hellishly serious faces, military formations, and the setting sun with heroic music blaring. It’s off the rails, without a drop of judgment and a sense of calm. And with the overblown runtime, it hits the viewer with the vigor of a little cheeky brat whose rich parents bought him a lot of toys from Hasbro and he doesn't know what to do with them out of mischief. So there are explosions everywhere and in between all this we have Shia and Megan, who just happen to look good again. I admit that I have probably never felt so awkward after leaving the movie theater for having actually liked this. But I don't want to see it a second time, not without the assistance of the big screen. PS: Even after a second viewing, it's still surprisingly entertaining. In a perversely demented way, but it's fun. :) (23/06/2009)

Bay likes to escalate. This means that the second film is bigger, more explosive, more infantile, stupider, more lobotomized... maybe a little funnier. Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman used most of their intelligent ideas in the Star Trek prequel script, so in this Hasbro mishmash they have no choice but to dilute the really demented plot with decent gags and self-parodying one-liners. Which is nice - otherwise Revenge of the Tinsmiths would seem really unbearable to me. Even so, watching two and a half hours of destruction, confusing action and rushing concrete mixers is a solid impact on the nervous system. Especially because, compared to the first film, it's no longer ballbusting - it's hackneyed. The moment of surprise is there, so we get Emmerich's recipe "if you don't know what to do, blow up as much of the world's ropes as possible". At the end, the divine Michael Bay prepared his much-loved pathos in a raw state for me, for which I thank him and send him a tin kiss. I know that Michael Bay lovers will be drooling with happiness, but for a viewer, who, in addition to a ton of steel armor, also likes a little bit of thought put into things, this year's blockbuster is Star Trek. And that won’t change no matter what Michael Bay does. (19/06/2009)

Naked robot genitals across the screen. Robot Jar Jar Binks in duplicate. Optimus "Conan" Prime. Devastators remake of the scene with Legolas on the Oliphaunt. “Mythology". A fire farting and leg rogering little robot. A huge, rusk robot with a walking stick who (for a change) farts out a parachute. A camp pug. A cowardly Megatron. Silicon heaven not included. Bay simply let rip. What else do you expect. Unlike the second Bad Boys, he let rip in the wrong direction. Seriously infantile. Michael, I want those politically incorrect brothers back, not prattling midgets... um, midgibots! (23/06/2009)