Machete

A estrela de Machete não é Danny Trejo - Machete, e nem mesmo Danny Trejo - Jardineiro :-) O tipo, embora eu o adore como uma lenda de culto de um subgénero, ele simplesmente não consegue atuar - ele só sabe fazer caretas. A estrela de Machete é um grande grupo de vilões bem interpretados, entre os quais cada espetador encontrará o «seu» bad-ass-mother-fucker. Para mim, esse é Don Johnson escondido atrás dos grandes óculos de sol. Embora até a Seagal aprecie a sua parte a cada golo. O ano de 2010 é o ano dos bons velhos e agora esquecidos heróis de ação... Rodriguez concebeu o seu «flick» Machete com estilo orgíaco, e provavelmente lembrar-se-á de mais cenas dele do que do Planeta Terror. Mas faltam-lhe pérolas de diálogo com o potencial de se tornar culto, e falta-lhe também a presença de outro personagem maluco com o rosto do Sr. grande Q. T.. (01/10/2010)

So, that little grindhouse flick that was shadowed by Stallone’s The Expendables turned out to be something completely outrageous that knows no limits. A perfect dose of trash and self-awareness. Trejo! Seagal! Alba! De Niro! Fahey! Lohan! Rodriguez! Rodriguez! While The Expendables fool around… (27/09/2010)

With similarly tuned retro images, it is difficult to find a reasonable line between piety, parody and seriousness, if I paraphrase the words of one of the protagonists: Machete didn't cross the line, the line crossed Machete. This film is the most entertaining and dullest spectacle I can imagine in the genre. If I’d had it on VHS in the 1980s, I’d undoubtedly have long hair, a black mustache and a sharpened machete. And a girl with one eye. [85%] (10/09/2010)

They should have stuck with the fake trailer. It serves up imaginative action and catchphrases in every other scene, but the whole thing is kind of... sterile. And boring at that. Lost among the geysers of stylishness is a plot that needed to draw us in more and give us more insight into the characters. I know, it’s all about a slightly different genre and intelligence rules, but even when you have one of the ugliest people running around between Hollywood and Mexico in the lead role, you expect the fun to be a little more serious, or conversely, a little crazier. Like Planet Terror. (29/09/2010)

–Cuban? –Mexican. It’s such a shame that Rodriguez didn’t have the balls to shoot the whole of his Mexploitation flick as crudely as he filmed the über-muthafucka prologue... I found that regrettable until the scene with entrails. The film’s superficial refinement only draws attention away from the self-confident (and self-conscious, as evidenced by the involvement of the uncensored internet) contempt for common sense, good taste and every conceivable kind of political correctness. Machete is an exploitation movie for multiplexes, but that doesn’t mean that it would lack machetes, machine guns, boobs, gore, sexy nurses, a murderous nun, a one-eyed avenger, Steven Seagal, Tom Savini and a  pissed-off Mexican with a weed whacker. You can either accept this film in all its simplicity and bombast and enjoy the ruthless fun, or look for a more sophisticated view of the world. This time, I’m giving a strong four-start rating and posing a simple question: why always complicate things? 85% (18/11/2013)