G.I. Joe: Retaliação

A maior atração do filme é o voo da corda nas paredes rochosas. Em 3D muito fixe. Há também algumas ideias nas cenas de ação (o passeio de mota para o complexo), ou a espetacular introdução à luta de ninjas no mosteiro (o vento a soprar é mais eficaz do ponto de vista atmosférico do que a música). Mas o humor aqui não tem piada (mesmo aquele que usa a presença de Willis), e não vou comentar o enredo com mais um maluco a tentar de alguma forma dominar o mundo novamente. No entanto, o público alvo dos adolescentes de vídeo-jogos, que não precisa tomar coisas com maior leveza, será satisfeito. O resto de nós esperaremos para Velocidade Furiosa 6. (28/03/2013)

While the sequels of thematically similar blockbusters about madmen who want to take over the world and a handful of last protagonists stand in their way are usually bigger, noisier, and more bombastic in every way, Retaliation paradoxically follows the path of modesty and artificiality, which was obviously the only sensible choice after Sommers' "over the top" madness. It’s not a bad thing, but even 4 years since the premiere I need both hands to list off the memorable moments, and Chu doesn't quite have it in hand as a whole, so the last half hour is a bit yawn-inducing. It is, however, kept afloat mainly by the fact that one likable cast has been replaced by another, only someone forgot to profile them better in this case. (18/07/2013)

It's a silly movie, but technically very daring, and some ideas are truly interesting. The scene on the rock, for example, is excellently filmed. Otherwise, it's a standard thing in all aspects. Technically solid, with lots of gadgets and gimmicks, which is exactly what was expected and the reason why this nonsense deserves at least two stars, because in terms of storytelling and plot, it's almost impossible to rate. (07/04/2013)

The first G. I. Joe movie was idiotic, but there was some brutal, out-of-this-world action. After all, that’s exactly why I’ve enjoyed it. The sequel is only idiotic and it’s really hard to rate an idiotic movie. Actually, the only plus were Channing and Dwayne. But those two are drifting through fates so stupid that the movie would be impossible to understand even if the action scenes were amazing. And it’s not like I’d watch it ten times over, once is more than enough. This was probably the worst story I’ve ever seen in a movie. (23/04/2014)

Awesome! Shame I’m not 10 and so I can’t ask dad for Zartan the Panda (with interchangeable faces). And while we’re talking about him, he is the best President of the United States ever (he handled nuclear disarmament of the country blindfolded and then played the Angry Birds) and Jonathon Pryce enjoys him to extremes. Bruce is just here to make up numbers, but works better here than in the last McClane. Tatum soon clears the decks (the opening scene was just because of him, in my view) and makes way for the powerhouse of the movie, the Rock whose Roadblock has a) a more complex character (as far as is possible for this popcorn genre) and b) the most worked-out body and he’s a really nice guy. Of course, the duels between those two ninjas are perfect and the peak of the movie is the abduction in the mountains. Unfortunately, for some baffling reason the action just doesn’t work - in fact it’s not baffling, but awful editing which turned everything into some sort of impenetrable goo. Otherwise, there are enough ideas that should have been made the most of and to greater extremes, but some things are very effective. But that’s where the Transformers sequel suffered too. Hasbro must be having a whale of a time. (07/04/2013)