31

A slasher fest without much sense but with a pretty OK dirty atmosphere, a plethora of relatively charismatic killers, and plenty of blood. Films like this can be more effective only when you can root for the characters, which isn’t a risk here. It wouldn’t hurt, either, if the sad sod that some people consider an important horror author tried for a change to write the script before the film begins shooting. 31 feels as if the script consisted of one page outlining the central idea and the rest was improvised on set. (19/09/2016)

Zombie no longer goes for meta-art overlaps, but unfortunately, there’s also nothing else there. I thus sadly long for at least a hint of an eccentric plot to give the whole brutality even a modicum of meaning (only the Mexican Nazi midget gets points even without doing anything), and for a more vigorous directorial self-direction to tame the senseless visual passions, where most of the carnage is indiscriminately shot by the camera and edited by a drunken redneck. I've defended Rob for years, but I'm not going to accept this sort of fail a third time. (21/10/2016)

Rob Zombie gives tribute to The Texas Chain Saw Massacrea and the 70s. Again. Rob Zombie employs all (non) actors of his family. Again. Rob Zombie fully shows his clown phobia. Again. Rob Zombie has made variations of his previous films. Again. And it's a hundred times seen pulp perverted disposable movie, with no logic, no continuity, where is not even a single nice character you wish would not die painfully. There is no clarity of the editing and similar redundancy simply does not do the job. However, it is something that you would expect in the circle of well-tuned / drunken friends, in other words by far the biggest obstacle to the right trash fun is that the Hispanic Nazi Chihuahua leaves too soon at the expense of the imaginativeness of individual gore deaths and the actions of pervert killers (with the honorable exception of Doom-Head). (31/07/2017)

Rob Zombie could make up for this year's dearth of gore, and it's a surprise that a lot of the murders go out of frame or can't be seen properly due to the frantic camera, which I give a thumbs down for, but other elements were nice. The villains are great, except for the crazy dwarf repeating puta and mierda, he was annoying. Schizo-Head and Psycho-Head offer motorbike games and more significant gore, but the biggest surprise is Doom-Head, who played the sleazy madman very convincingly and deserves a solo. On the plus side, there are great make-up effects, a very dirty look, very unlikeable characters, one redneck next to another – I missed this quite a bit, hixploitation doesn't really work nowadays. A lot more could have been made out of the idea, though. Even though it's more of a 3*, there hasn't been a more sick twisted movie here this year, I’m going for a weaker four stars. Story 5/10, Atmosphere 7/10, Gore 6/10, Visuals 5/10, Action 7/10, Suspense 7/10, Humor 4/10. Entertainment 7/10, Scares 0/10. 70%. (16/09/2016)

The horror film 31 is more like a bite-sized snack. If you were expecting something big, new, and unique from Zombie, then 31 simply isn't that kind of film. It's a slasher/survival that's gory but doesn't have a single positive character you can like. Clowns are a bit of a cliché, but the filthiness of this rendition makes it work. For me, it's a decent horror average because it manages to leave an impression on you at times. (17/01/2017)