Goldbeater

An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe is practically based from start to finish on Vincent Price’s voice, appearance and charisma, as he recites four selected tales written by the American master of horror. Price was simply born for the gothic horror genre, and I couldn’t imagine a better reciter for Poe’s work.

Ethan Hawke is apparently seeking a "getaway" from the dumb scenario, however to no avail. And the awful visuals are not helping. The worst thing about this film, though, is the incredibly annoying and unlikeable Selena Gomez, whose acting skills are null – she was, for me, simply unbearable. The walk-ons by veterans like Paul Freeman or Jon Voight are not enough to save the day.

Despite its awful ranking on this website, Titanic is a quality flick. However, the sinking of the steamboat doesn’t take centre stage, most of the focus targetingthe ongoing drama between a select group of passengers (based on quite typical family issues). As for the catastrophe, it happens in the flick of an eye, within the last minutes (with a proper Hollywood explosion – oh well). Of course, Clifton Webb and Barbara Stanwyck’s very solid performances stand out, but against the factual reconstruction of the tragic events depicted in its (five-year younger) British successor A Night to Remember, this American version pales in comparison – despite its higher dedication to the character depiction.

Quite unknown in our lands, yet a very significant crime-thriller piece of Hong Kong cinematography and one of Tarantino’s main sources of inspiration for Reservoir Dogs. Some scenes, especially in the second half of the flick, were almost paraphrased shot by shot by Quentin. After A Better Tomorrow, Chow Yun-fat once again plays an incredibly tough role, this time as a secret cop infiltrating a gang of robbers (including the charming criminal Danny Lee). At the beginning, the film is perhaps hampered by a lengthy character exposure. Still, Ringo Lam frequently delights his audience with iconic action, sometimes even surprising us with some unexpected blood and morbidity (stepping into the grave) and a memorable finale that keeps all the fans of Hong Kong cinematography glued to their seats.

This documentary gives a complex picture of a charismatic tough guy and great character actor. The hour and a half are packed not only with interesting information about the life of ‘that guy Dick Miller’, but also with a rich cross section covering more than six decades of American (not only) low-budget films and the famous ‘Corman Film School’, most of its main representatives being interviewed. It’s definitely a valuable documentary for all Miller fans and cinema buffs alike. Having starred in more than 180 film roles (not counting those that didn’t get beyond the script stage), Dick himself then appears as a truly positive buddy of the old-school. The only bitter taste is coming from the realisation that this might be his last acting creation, due to his retirement. And in case it is, his final words with a mischievous wink is the best farewell Miller could possibly make.

The Thing with Two Heads could aspire to become a quirky cult flick, but it is strongly plagued by its absence of humour. Many descriptions of the film filed it under the genre of comedy, but in reality, it turns out to be quite the opposite. For the most part, it looks like it is meant as a serious science-fiction drama that contains only about two deliberately lighter scenes. And if you laugh at other times (namely, when Roosevelt Grier is seen running around with an artificial head on his shoulder), that was not what the creators intended. This mood inconsistency does the film a lot of harm, because the action is so sparse and stupid that the viewer soon loses interest and feels somewhat exhausted. Looking at Ray Milland and Roosevelt Grier’s gloomy and sweaty faces, it seems they had to endure a really painful shooting! The racism theme is only lightly touched upon for some reason, and there’s not much to expect from that side. Then, there’s that ridiculously excessive car chase. Maybe American International Pictures’ bosses wanted to add at least one action scene, and came up with that completely pointless and incredibly long and absurd police pursuit somewhere on a local meadow. After an hour and a half, one concludes that the plot didn’t go anywhere and that the characters didn’t evolve at all. Not mentioning the final slap in the face when you hear the gospel chant ‘Oh Happy Day’ – whaaat?!

A much more appropriate title would be ‘The Incredible Boring Man’ or ‘The Incredible Walking Man’, because all the titular melting astronaut is doing is to keep walking around 90% of the time, accompanied by a cyclic voice-over, which soon becomes very repetitive and soporific. As a result, the first forty minutes feel like they lasted two hours (moreover, it’s interesting to notice for how long this lad can keep melting, although his mass doesn’t seem to diminish). The absence of a plot critically harms the film, and the few imaginative murders at the end (like the spectacular fall onto the power line) combined with Rick Baker’s special effects are not enough to save the day, I’m afraid. All in all, this is a very poorly written piece of filmmaking which could have succeeded only as a silly black comedy; it was filmed in all earnest, however, which is unbelievable, since right from its title, the flick feels like a parody of the classic The Incredible Shrinking Man. Director Jonathan Demme appearing in a small role is one of the rare interesting moments in an otherwise utterly disappointing story.

An interestingly filmed story about the monumental fraud that was James Addison Reavis aka the Baron of Arizona. The enthralling performance of the charismatic Vincent Price in the main role is, of course, the peak of this flick. Screenwriter Sam Fuller embellishes the character of Reavis to some extent, turning him into a romantic antihero, but who cares, in the context of the story? What really matters is that he created a truly entertaining biographical piece depicting events about which I didn’t have the slightest clue. And Price shows his chameleon acting skills, even within one single role.

Miroslav Krobot and Lubomír Smékal use some kind of deformed filmic language which either I simply don’t understand, or doesn’t offer anything interesting at all. The attempt at black humour ends up as plain awkward. The Quartette feels like it is supposed to turn the viewers into the same soulless zombies as its main characters. Personally, I’m not willing to take part in this ‘game’ and I really don’t see the slightest reason why anyone would make, watch or promote this dumb film.

David Ayer’s promise to blow a wind of change into comic-based DC films didn’t materialise, and using the phrase ‘wasted potential’ in this case would be an understatement. After the commercial success of the R-rated Deadpool, one can reasonably wonder why Suicide Squad ended up with PG-13. Its artificial grafting onto Justice League was very annoying. An entire book could be written about the dumbness of the script, but my biggest complaint is the failed character design. Instead of the promised bad guys, we get the standard pack of kindhearted heroes; no one is a paragon of virtue, yet they’re definitely not antiheroes either. There’s this very awkward screenwriting attempt to hide that fact by reminding the viewer once in a while what they’re supposed to think, with the characters uttering lines like “We're bad guys, it's what we do.” Last but not least, some thoughts about the cast: Cara Delevingne is terrible at playing the Enchantress (in her defence, the whole conception behind the Enchantress character is a disaster – Cara just finished her off with her creations). The biggest casting fail, however, is Jared Leto in the Joker role – watching him is almost unbearable. Ayer had better go back to crime drama; this piece totally upset me!