J*A*S*M

Wow! This was painful disappointment. A very promising line up featuring Jim Sheridan as director, with Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz and Naomi Watts in the main roles, but a terrible product that doesn’t work at all. The moment you start thinking a little about it, you realise that it doesn’t make any sense. And yet, the premise is not pointless, it just needs a completely different approach.

A very good political drama set in the backstage of American politics. Great actors, the script relies a little too much on coincidences, but it doesn’t matter. It’s just the right length, so even those who aren’t too much into politics shouldn’t get bored. 8/10

For me, between normal two stars and guilty-pleasure three stars. Whereas the first two Hostel films worked on the well known fact that the Balkans begin behind Brno’s main railway station, the third part follows the law of “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”. It’s cheap, stupid, illogical, but at least tries to surprise (and it quite manages it in some details), so I had more fun than expected. Fairly OK for a video film.

I hate it when I have to give an average rating to an above-average film! But there’s not other way about it, MMMM simply didn’t deliver an above-average experience. It’s terribly slow, long and unsurprising, but at the same time, it’s very well made and performed, atmospheric and oppressive.

A stupid version of The Descent, where the cave is replaced by a bunker and the female speleologists by a gender-correct bunch of unlikeable individuals. From the middle on, I pressed fast forward because I’m too old to properly watch every nonsense. And this one is not improved even by the plentiful gore. Only a competent director could improve it.

The fourth remake ;-) It avoids the final destination with an interesting trump card, but instead of using it wisely, it flushes it down the toilet. The idea that the cursed can avoid death by killing another person is really good, and it could have been the basis of some really depressing, oppressive and serious horror. Instead, it’s just entertainment for teenagers, even if pretty tense and well put together in several scenes. It’s certainly better than the awful fourth part (and the average third), but I’m still a little disappointed because, if the creators had used the new idea better and had taken the franchise in a new direction, FD5 could have been great. This is just OK fun to watch once.

The new Straw Dogs is a fairly decent but awfully pointless film. It’s even more pointless than other remakes, because there are already two versions of the same film, and one of them is only two years old. Yeah, I’m speaking about Deliver Us from Evil, an excellent Scandinavian film that I recommend to everyone. The new Straw Dogs I can only recommend to those who want to be on top of everything new that’s happening in the genre. It’s just a better average.

A second rate group of Masters of Horror who got together for a project to honour old horror movies, and they had quite a lot of fun with it. People in a drive-in cinema are watching horror shorts. 1. Wadzilla (Adam Rifkin): A city threatened by giant sperm. It’s cringe worthy at times, but funny overall. I had a lot of fun with the dancing Statue of Liberty. It’s a reference mostly to the catastrophe monster movies of the fifties. 2. I Was a Teenage Werebear (Tim Sullivan): A very cute and easygoing gay musical :-D. According to (my) expectations, Tim Sullivan delivers the worst film in Chillerama, but it’s still watchable. Half funny, half cringe. 3. The Diary of Anne Frankenstein (Adam Green): Hitler has decided to make his own Jewish Frankenstein monster. Incredibly funny (no irony). Adam Green confirms he’s a good director and his contribution is hilarious. It’s a reference to old gothic horror. 4. Deathication: Scatological shite preceded by a long speech from the director about the art that we can expect. It’s a reference to all that crap that in some way or another pretends to be art, and about which you often read that it’s not “for the average viewer”. Fortunately, we are spared the 87 minutes of this film when the projector gets stuck, and the drive-in cinema is attacked by zombies. 5. Zom-B-movie (Joe Lynch): A very well made story that frames all the rest. Fun, nastiness and loads of one-liners. Needless to say, you will enjoy Chillerama only if you are familiar with the films it refers to. If that’s the case, go for it, I can’t recommend it enough.

I would have never expected that a film where the protagonists are old Cardinals lead by a newly elected Pope could be so much fun. A very big surprise from Italy that made me laugh more than once, I never got bored and I loved the ending. Less precise than The King’s Speech, but bolder and more progressive. Thumbs up.

Yeah, this is the kind of politically correct, high-minded Oscar safe bet where pretty much all the black characters can be compared to the greatest philosophers in history thanks to their human (popular) wisdom, but I can’t help it, I really liked it. In its 146 minutes, it has charm, is entertaining, and has good performances, direction and script. It was nice, but at the Oscars I will root for someone else.