Necrotongue

I've grown rather fond of films about organized crime although I can’t explain why. I guess Lord Vetinari is to blame. The conflict between the Italian and Irish underworld obviously relied heavily on various explosives, so the pyrotechnicians got their fix. The film had a decent atmosphere and a stellar cast, but Ray Stevenson got on my nerves. Or at least his crazy wig did. Whenever he appeared on screen, he made me think of Terence Hill, which was highly distracting.

The premise is getting old. A good guy ends up in prison where things get even worse because of an evil prison boss, et cetera. S. Craig Zahler took a slightly different approach. I imagine there were quite a few viewers who didn’t manage to keep their dinner down during certain scenes. Those hardened by experience like myself, on the other hand, could savor each and every crack. The biggest surprise for me was Vince Vaughn, who was totally convincing and gave one of his best performances in my opinion.

If I were supposed to take care of that fat bastard (sorry, morbidly obese troubled boy), it would definitely be a short film, as he definitely wouldn't survive his attitude in the beginning. The longer I watched, the more obvious it was that it was a typical family film, whose plot, despite its many unlikely adventures, was inevitably marching towards a happy ending, which isn’t exactly my thing. It’s not that I hate happy endings, but the story just wasn’t any good. I’m not sure why the characters repeatedly said there were a million hectares of the Bush around them, when both runaways kept stumbling across people all the time. Lame.

Once again, I was made to watch a Marvel film almost against my will. I was told that the latest Thor was different and perhaps even funny. And it was true, I did get to laugh a few times. The creators did a great job visually. Plus, Cate Blanchett’s voice is simply soothing. Then again, I do like Norse mythology and its constant desecration was extremely distracting. I won't list all the errors here, I think it's enough to name Heimdall and the last (wtf?) Valkyrie. I just can't stand how black people are constantly cast in roles that don’t belong to them. I would be just as annoyed if a white man was cast as Barack Obama or Martin Luther King.

I’m sure there was a certain message and I even get what the message was, but I think Taika Waititi can do better. I would have given this film more stars if it hadn’t been trying too hard to look artistic and play on the emotions of overly sensitive individuals. The idea of populating the film with "quirky" characters wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t original.

Mindhorn is a terrible piece of crap and that's probably why I got to laugh so much. I haven't seen such a bunch of losers in a long time, and the plot kept me entertained despite its wackiness. Another reason why I enjoyed the film so much is the British accent I'm practically obsessed with.

The third instalment had countless flaws again, but the previous one annoyed me more. Anyway, I'm glad that the fate of the Kotov clan has finally come to a conclusion. I only wish it had happened in the original film, as Nikita Mikhalkov intended. I wouldn't have had to watch a weird parody on war in both the following films. I wonder how the landmine action turned out. Wasn’t that the reason why the upper half of General Kotov's body was sticking out of the commander’s hatch of the front tank at the end?

I had a great time watching this film even though I'm exactly the kind of person it was directed against. So, let me just say that the filmmakers were partially right, but they also completely ignored a number of counterarguments. I did have fun, but now I'm going to give my cat a meat pouch, because she doesn't give a damn about any of this propaganda.

I have a feeling that the third season of Frozen Secrets is gaining unstoppable water and will soon sink. As a critic of any church, I could rejoice in digging into my opponents, but the creators would have to show at least a minimal sign of taste for me to appreciate their effort. This way, I did not appreciate their attempt with garbage just because I am waiting to see what they come up with next.

I decided to watch this film based on the low ratings here, hoping it would be unintentionally hilarious just like the Sharknado series. It wasn't. They humor was so forced that it resulted in a weird, cringey affair that felt embarrassing to watch. The only funny thing was the CGI snake being shot to bits, and one star goes to Arnold for his unmistakable accent.