Necrotongue

Okay, the Americans have proved again that they’re the only ones who can protect the safety of everyone else around them. The reason why I watched this is that I’m interested in WW2 technology, and I wanted to see how USS Missouri would be incorporated into a film about an alien attack. My brain is still bleeding. The indestructible destroyers are destroyed and luckily only the expendable Japanese and the main hero’s brother and his crew get hurt, so the hero has reason enough to get pissed off. Throw in a battleship with a crew of veterans, conveniently aided on land by a brave legless veteran, and there won’t be a dry patriotic eye in the house. I would have loved to see the look on the face of a naval engineer seeing an anchor used as a handbrake. Disgusting! I would give this a boo rating, but I got to see the Missouri, so here goes one star.

I never expected the Hungarian filmmakers to blow my mind like this. I enjoyed the film from the beginning to the end. The atmosphere strongly reminded me of my favorite Delicatessen, as the plot was similarly absurd. I don't know if the film reveals my hidden sadistic tendencies, but I definitely enjoyed it.

Definitely a pleasant surprise after the disastrous episodes I, II, and III. The creators got rid of the ridiculous amount of CGI that dominated the previous episodes, as well as the silly pointy-eared creature, and made a decent follow-up to episodes IV, V, and VI. It's true that the main villain doesn’t have as much dark charisma compared to the other episodes, but I guess I can't have everything. On the other hand, I learned something new about the Wookiee species – apparently, they are slower to age. While Han Solo has almost reached retirement age, Chewbacca doesn't have a single gray hair! Anyway, I was satisfied.

A film about how to invent, make, and sell a mop. Admittedly, I didn't expect much, and good thing I didn’t. The plot was oddly unbalanced. The first half almost put me to sleep, and I even considered watching something else. But I hung in there, and boy was it worth it! In the second half, the pace got incredibly fast, and I was on the edge of my seat as the main character was deciding whether to wear pants or a skirt for the TV promotion of her product, and waiting to see if the sales take off or crash. Not even such a stacked cast could pull this one off. At least not for me.

I really enjoyed this ride. I already chuckled at the self-deprecating opening credits. It was nice to see that Reynolds can make fun of himself (Tom "Maverick" Cruise would probably have had a nervous fit after reading the script). What I like the most is that there is finally a superhero who is not afraid to take off the burden of his enemies’ lives by removing unnecessary limbs, heads, etc. I don't mind honesty, but I don't believe in people who never make mistakes, and the idea of turning the other cheek doesn’t appeal to me, so Deadpool was right up my alley. Plus, the Hello Kitty gun backpack and the bet from Putin were hilarious. Awesome!

I was entertained throughout, the characters strongly reminded me of those in The Government Inspector. As a bonus, there’s Agent Smith/Elrond as a transvestite. Unlike some movies, this was far from a waste of time.

A film I was looking forward to and was severely disappointed by. The main character reminded me of Zoolander, as his only expression throughout the movie was the Magnum look 1-6. The dialogue between friends and sexual partners was clichéd, and the whole plot was lacking tension, as it was inevitably heading towards the only possible conclusion. It was all topped off by a heartfelt romantic ending in which the hero's love forgives her darling for betraying her every step of the way. The only thing missing was a wedding. I’m giving one star to Han Solo's "hairstyle".