Baywatch: Marés Vivas

É realmente assim TÃO mau. Que pena. Se surgisse disso pelo menos uma comédia fecal honesta, a qual se parece com a abertura (engraçada!) com dick captado. Mas nada funciona aqui, e com duas horas (e a incapacidade dos cineastas de o manter unido num só nível) o final é literalmente sofrido. Mesmo os cameos de Hasselhoff e Pamela não são incorporados de forma imaginativa ou humorística. E duram alguns segundos! (18/06/2017)

A pleasant surprise. I didn't expect much from Baywatch, but I had a great time. Zac Efron and The Rock are a great duo, plus the amazing Alexandra Daddario and a bunch of other ladies you could watch from morning till night. There are plenty of jokes and the vast majority of them are hilarious, I loved the many allusions to the cinematic universe. The story is of course ordinary and the action scenes quite bland, but luckily that wasn't the point here, I mean, other than nice boobs, lots of humour and movie references I wasn't expecting much, and that's what I got. I am satisfied.75% (20/08/2017)

I can endure a lot. I don't have any particularly nostalgic relationship with the original phenomenon Baywatch, and I always appreciate Priyanka Chopra as a villain. But this film doesn't make sense even in the series of the strange "comedies with Dwayne Johnson" subgenre. There is nothing more here than a bit of humor for tweens and completely botched cameos by David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson. (11/08/2023)

When the muscular men aren’t diving into the water in slow motion and the beautiful women aren’t emerging from the water in slow motion (the film never rises above the level of how male and female bodies are depicted in subverting gender stereotypes), two or more characters stand/sit on the beach and, in unimaginatively shot scenes, spend a tiresomely long time dragging out an adolescent joke about, for example, the age of Efron’s character (“Where did you come from, One Direction?”) or a sidekick’s inability to form an articulate thought when coming face to face with a person of the opposite sex. As a star vehicle for Dwayne Johnson, this two-hour celebration of virility and heroism based more on physical strength than on intellect works particularly well when it exaggerates the protagonist’s perfection to the edge of deliberate parody. Unfortunately, it does so by repeatedly using the same template, with a laziness that is characteristic of how the whole film is written (piling up supposedly humorous asides instead of developing the joke) and directed (poor timing of the bumbling action scenes). In the second half, which is mostly focused on a rather insipid crime plot (serving mainly as an excuse for The Rock to punch someone in the mouth), the film is not only short on humour (rather, it is unironically affected), but it also runs out of ideas, loses pace and doesn’t have a proper build-up. Among other things, this is due to the fact that the main star disappears from the film for quite a long time, thus taking away the only reason to suffer through this comedy targeted mainly at boys under the age 15 (and apparently written by people of the same age and gender). 40% (15/06/2017)

When I was a kid, I watched the Baywatch quite a lot. That’s also the reason why I was so curious about the Rock’s and Zac Efron’s performances in the remake. In the end, I must say I’m quite disappointed. The comedy isn’t innovative, it’s not explicit, it’s really not anything in particular. It has its moments, but overall, it’s more stupid than it is funny. Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff even make an appearance, but they are so utterly uninteresting that they basically copy the movie’s overall vibe. It was bad. And that’s quite a shame. (27/08/2017)