Necrotongue

I was looking forward to this challenging journey to acquire the historically first Michelin star. However, the final impression fell short of my expectations. The creators did point out the relationship between the nobility and the subjects, but apart from that, everything else seemed naïve. The life of an ordinary person in pre-revolutionary France must have been much more horrifying. It wasn't just about poor people having to steal bread; the problem was that they didn't have anywhere to steal it from, so they often resorted to eating moss, bark, and roots. But they could have cake, right? Sure, there were goods, but someone would have to pay for them to reach their destination. And I couldn't for the life of me figure out where the main character got the means to finance his cooking (especially while leading his social program). However, to maintain the momentum, the creators ignored such minor details. They focused on the story of a pioneering restaurateur and true founding father of the advertising industry, who wasn't afraid to stand up to the upper class and laid the foundations of the Great French Revolution. It wouldn't have been bad if the form hadn't been so weak. / Lesson learned: Say it with a potato. 2*+

I have mixed feelings about this movie. Cary Grant was great as usual, and Grace Kelly was (just) a feast for the eyes, but honestly, I expected more from a director of Hitchcock's caliber. At certain moments, both the plot and the performances seemed contrived, and I couldn't help but compare it to Operation Petticoat (1959), which I saw yesterday and liked much better. Here, I felt as if the creators couldn't quite decide if they wanted to make a comedy, a romance, or a thriller. The resulting mix has a bit of everything but not enough of anything. I expect more humor in a comedy and more tension in a thriller, and the romantic storyline was simplified in a way that made it unconvincing. I partially enjoyed watching the film and had a good time, but on the other hand, I was quite disappointed with how it was handled, so, as I said - I have mixed feelings about this movie. / "What do you say?" "My only comment would be highly censurable." / Lesson learned: "Oh, Mother will love it up here." How fitting:-) 2*+

Fortunately, the American filmmakers didn't do it the French way, which I find uninteresting and annoying because it's only based on mocking the opponent. The creators of this film relied on much more intelligent humor. Instead of demeaning the Japanese, they chose to be self-critical, and it worked really well. Captain Sherman didn't have enough time to fight against the sons of Nippon, as he had to dedicate all his efforts to battling the Vogons and preventing excessive exchange of information between the crew and its temporary members. Nothing stopped me from having a great time with both officers because Cary Grant and Tony Curtis complemented each other perfectly. The captain's diary was hilarious, and although it was really silly, I enjoyed it. The Sea Tiger undeniably influenced the history of music, as it became an obvious inspiration for The Beatles, who just changed the color of the submarine to make it less obvious. / "Never have so few stolen so much from so many." / "When a girl is under twenty-one, she is protected by law. When she is over sixty-five, she is protected by nature. Anywhere in between, she's fair game." The feminists whose brains haven't exploded yet must be boiling with rage. / Lesson learned: Submarines and trains have not been designed for women who are excessively endowed in the upper body. I'm sure Lieutenant Crandall would agree.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first Knives Out because of the well-written story, great atmosphere, and Ana de Armas. This time, however, I was mainly faced with excessive running time, long, unnecessary explanations, and left-wing propaganda (and I'm not exactly wealthy capitalist myself). Plus, the finale played into the hands of all those crazy activists smearing mashed potatoes on works of art in galleries. This activity will soon solve all our planet's environmental problems. The main problem with the film was that it contained occasional moments that amused me, but desperately few for a movie with a running time longer than two hours. I'm not sure if Daniel Craig and Edward Norton portrayed characters influenced by COVID so well or if they were just tired. Most of the characters (if not all) lacked depth; the plot was sometimes boring and occasionally even irritating, so I'm obviously not impressed. / Lesson learned: An idiot in charge is not an unusual phenomenon. 3*-.

"I've got one funny question. Will you suck cock for ten thousand?" "Excuse me?!" "Euros." "......" This short conversation basically summed up the theme of the film.  It was not a unique cultural experience, but it relatively comprehensively highlighted most aspects typical for this field of human activity. I also learned something new again, and I'm glad to have found out which international day is celebrated on June 2nd.

It's not exactly a film noir because it lacks the main character's accompanying monologue. Instead, it reminded me of L.A. Confidential (yes, I know it's considerably younger, but I saw it first). It also felt as if this movie inspired the creators of Rango. The story was very well constructed, the cast was fantastic, and Roman Polański's direction style usually suits me. Everything came together in perfect harmony; there was a great atmosphere and tension, and I was immensely pleased with how the conclusion was handled. It's evident that film themes come and go, but corruption is a solid rock that doesn't succumb to erosion in that vast ocean of change. / Lesson learned: If your daughter is also your sister, something is not quite right.

I was unpleasantly surprised by how wooden the acting was in some scenes. At times, it seemed as if actors were called out to recite their lines in front of the camera. It felt quite awkward. When I add that I don't like American football, you can tell it's not a movie for me. I'm not exactly a fan of prison movies either; the pattern is clear - prisons must be run by a cunning and sadistic warden, the main character must either be falsely accused or convicted of a crime that doesn't bother the viewer too much and then it goes as follows: bullying - the death of a close friend/fellow inmate - resistance against a corrupt system - moral victory. Well, within these confines, I can root for the main character, but it clashes with real life. Bastards who commit the atrocities that happen on a daily basis should experience being in a facility where life is more about survival than a hotel stay. In my opinion, prison should be a punishment that would make ex-convicts afraid to go back. / Lesson learned: Don't turn the other cheek; use brass knuckles instead.

The Russian filmmakers didn't push heroism and patriotism as much as they usually do and instead focused on telling the story. It's a good thing because extensive speeches on heroism were unnecessary; it was enough just to watch and see. The technology and war realism were at a high level, as usual. The historical events are widely known, but I felt the tension despite knowing how it would all end, which is always a sign that the filmmakers did a good job. I was a bit disappointed by the overly successful gunners and the fact that the creators did not know that Luftwaffe fighters never flew in three-member formations. But again, I am nitpicking. The film was great, and I think it bears comparison with American blockbusters about World War II. It could even surpass some of them. / Lesson learned: When you're cold, snuggle up to someone.

I was pleasantly surprised. You can tell that the budget was tight, but it paradoxically benefited the film. There was CGI, but my screen wasn't constantly filled with all kinds of digital mess, and there was room for a story, which was not bad at all. If you expect battles with blue and green phasers, lasers, and such, you will be disappointed. The movie relies on a good story (albeit clichéd) and a perfect gloomy atmosphere (courtesy of Lithuania). What disappointed me was the premise about the self-sacrificing cripple, especially since he received food in the same way as I do (although I envied him the worms, my diet is more monotonous). Nevertheless, this peculiar, calmer approach suited me, and I liked the idea of flying Wilson. Definitely worth four stars. / Lesson learned: Are they making fun of you for being a hoarder? One day, you will laugh at them from the top of your tower.

The movie had a very noticeably slow start, followed by a very slow middle part and an ending that surprisingly dragged on as well. Given that I didn't laugh out loud even once, I wouldn't call it a comedy unless it was a very bitter comedy, more of a funny drama. It was a look into the "action-packed" life of an unsuccessful tailor (if we measure success by money, which we do, right?) who is forced to reassess and change his professional life in order to survive. Even if you tortured me, I wouldn't be able to tell you why I liked it. It was so slow that I welcomed every faster movement of the scissors, and the main character's life was almost completely stereotypical. Maybe I liked it because it felt really genuine and human. However, to warn those who enjoy calm movies with a slowly unfolding plot, this might be too much even for you. / Lesson learned: It's never too late to learn something new. 4*-