O Último Caçador de Bruxas

Tenho um argumento barato de valor absolutamente zero e quero fazer dele um grande sucesso. Para ser levado mesmo um pouco a sério, pagarei a Michael Caine, apesar de ficar embaraçado à sua frente em palco. Não lhe vou perguntar se ele leu até ao fim. Em busca duma vibração de Cavaleiro das Trevas, continuarei a encarregar Jablonski de imitar o poderoso Zimmer do Batman. Vou colocar a estrela de ação mais imóvel, mas globalmente popular do ator no papel principal, que o meu público alvo seleciona sensatamente para consumidores pouco exigentes de entretenimento non-brain. E vou inundá-lo com porcaria digital de segunda mão que nem sequer consegue lidar de forma credível com um carro rápido a descer uma rua de Nova Iorque do alto de cima. Essa sensação que se tem depois dum filme quando se está tão frustrado com uma satisfação de espetador tão dolorosamente de zero que se precisa de ver qualquer outro filme rapidamente, para que se esqueça rapidamente, e para que haja pelo menos ALGUM tipo de impressão do público, perceção, satisfação deixada em si a partir daquela noite. (23/10/2015)

A movie with a tree that gummy bears grow on can’t be all bad. Diesel tries to operate outside his three regular personas (Riddick, Toretto, Cage), but still without great success. It doesn’t work very well here. This fantasy is suspiciously reminiscent of something I wanted to see when I was into Conan as a boy. In the end, it’s fairly watchable and makes sense. A bit more work on the screenplay wouldn’t have hurt, but it’s ok. Rose Leslie makes it ten times better. Michael Caine’s line at the end is just cool. Not in the theater, but at home. (31/01/2016)

The Last Witch Hunter is an average fantasy flick, laced through and through with action and all sorts of magic. It benefits in particular from a likeable cast that balances the simplicity of the script, which reeks of cliché. One of a bunch of one-viewing films that neither impresses nor offends. (12/02/2016)

It's a shame that this movie plays it safe and the storyline is incredibly straightforward and very predictable. But I enjoyed the world presented here, it's a nicely polished B-movie with characters that I personally really like. Visually interesting, it has something of "Constantine" but it is also unique. You just know how it will end right away. Don't expect anything grand in it. (08/02/2016)

I wasn't expecting much from this, so when I found the beginning to be pretty entertaining, I was very surprised and wondered why it got such a low rating. And then it all became clear during the film. Kaulder is lame, the fights are even more so, and for being only 107 minutes long I thought it might be over after the 70th minute, it was kind of long. I was entertained until about the time Kaulder gets his gnocchi on, but there was nothing more interesting than that. Pretty mediocre, below average action fantasy. (16/01/2016)